A provocative manifesto on what it means for women to be 'good' - and what happens when we stop.
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live'
LISA TADDEO
'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend'
JENNIFER ANISTON
'I left feeling energized and galvanized to take back my true f**king freedom'
JAMEELA JAMIL
In this groundbreaking exploration of the ancient rules that women unwittingly follow in order to be considered 'good', journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses - for instance, to show restraint, to be selfless or to prove ourselves in a male-dominated workplace - are ingrained in us by a patriarchal culture that reaps the benefits. So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be 'good'?
Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour reveals an enlightening path towards a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling'
KATHERINE MAY
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self'
GABOR MATÉ
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming'
LORI GOTTLIEB
*THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live' LISA TADDEO
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self' GABOR MATÉ
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling' KATHERINE MAY
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Why do women equate self-denial with being 'good'?
We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others' needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses - often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts - are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social mores:
Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.
These so-called 'deadly sins' have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work.
So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be 'good'?
Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
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'This is a really important book' CHELSEA HANDLER
'Half historical docent, half big sister with a hot cup of tea, read this and change your life' TERRENCE REAL
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming' LORI GOTTLIEB
[
On Our Best Behaviour] is a
thought-provoking read that holds up a mirror to society . . . I devoured this book, even breaking out the highlighters and sticky tabs to mark my favourite quotes. It puts into words experiences I, and many other women, have known but may not have had the words to articulate until now.
An absolute must read piece of non-fiction this year 
