A provocative manifesto on what it means for women to be 'good' - and what happens when we stop.
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live'
LISA TADDEO
'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend'
JENNIFER ANISTON
'I left feeling energized and galvanized to take back my true f**king freedom'
JAMEELA JAMIL
In this groundbreaking exploration of the ancient rules that women unwittingly follow in order to be considered 'good', journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses - for instance, to show restraint, to be selfless or to prove ourselves in a male-dominated workplace - are ingrained in us by a patriarchal culture that reaps the benefits. So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be 'good'?
Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour reveals an enlightening path towards a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling'
KATHERINE MAY
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self'
GABOR MATÉ
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming'
LORI GOTTLIEB
Stop trying to be "good." Start living freely.
THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopaedia of how to live' LISA TADDEO
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling' KATHERINE MAY
'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy to your best friend' JENNIFER ANISTON
Why do so many women feel the need to be "good", even at their own expense?
Why do we apologise when we've done nothing wrong?
Struggle with people-pleasing and setting boundaries?
Put others first, even when it leads to burnout and resentment?
Praise ourselves for self-denial?
Silence our anger?
Ignore our needs?
We're told this is what makes us "good" women.
In On Our Best Behaviour, Elise Loehnen reveals how these patterns aren't natural - they're learned.
Drawing on feminism, psychology and cultural history, she exposes how women have been conditioned to self-regulate through an enduring framework: Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.
These so-called "deadly sins" have shaped how women relate to their bodies (gluttony, lust), limit their ambition (greed, pride), and suppress anger and truth (wrath). This is not just theory - it's a system that still influences how women behave every day. On Our Best Behaviour offers a new path - one where we build a life rooted in self-trust, autonomy and emotional freedom.
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self' GABOR MATÉ
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming' LORI GOTTLIEB
'This is a really important book' CHELSEA HANDLER
[
On Our Best Behaviour] is a
thought-provoking read that holds up a mirror to society . . . I devoured this book, even breaking out the highlighters and sticky tabs to mark my favourite quotes. It puts into words experiences I, and many other women, have known but may not have had the words to articulate until now.
An absolute must read piece of non-fiction this year 
