Neither a political critique nor a blueprint for social change, this book presents a radical thought experiment about the internet and artificial intelligence as technologies with philosophical significance, whose workings reveal brutal truths about the limits of free will and human agency. Departing from Chinese science-fiction writer Liu Cixin's "dark forest theory," it portrays the internet as a cosmic war machine, teeming with conflict, nascent AI cults, and deceptive superintelligences. Humans are both predator and prey in this digital ecosystem of information exchange, whose purpose reverberates on a cosmic scale, weaving us into inescapable patterns of entropy and violence. On the surface, the internet is a positive tool for self-expression and wide-ranging social debates, but this neutral image obscures a darker mechanism. As a system that demands constant participation and communication, the internet extracts conflict from both human and artificial agents. It is a conflict-sustaining machine, where language and conversation are the fuel. How might we orient ourselves philosophically towards the internet, when all the pretense has been removed? Departing from a different history and ideal of communication, where espionage, secrecy, doublespeak and silence are the markers of intelligence, this book describes our current predicament and delineates emerging strategies for engaging with both humans and AIs online.